JOKE NOTICES

Musical English Lessons International, England

Established since 1993

This free website has been created especially for you by Bibi Baxter (International Author, Teacher & ESL/EFL Materials Specialist) <>()<> This website contains 'something' for everyone <>()<> Established since 1993, Musical English Lessons International are the only world-wide suppliers of special ESL/EFL study ideas by Bibi Baxter (formerly Bibi Boarder)

French <> Italian <> Portuguese <> Spanish <> German <> Chinese <> Japanese <> Korean <> Arabic <> Turkish <> Polish <> Macedonian

Joke Prayers & Notices

With thanks to St. Mark's Church, Ramsgate, Kent, UK for their delightful notices

SMILE, BECAUSE GOD LOVES YOU

THE REST OF US, HOWEVER, WILL WONDER WHAT YOU'VE BEEN UP TO!

GODISNOWHERE

(Now read it again)

FEED YOUR FAITH AND YOUR DOUBTS WILL STARVE TO DEATH

TO EASE ANOTHER'S BURDEN, HELP TO CARRY IT

TROUBLES ARE THE TOOLS WITH WHICH GOD FASHIONS US FOR BETTER THINGS

ESL/EFL VOCABULARY NOTE

to fashion = to shape, create, develop
to have attitude = to be anti-social or awkward
Gratitude attitude means: Do you have difficulty in feeling grateful?

GRATITUDE ATTITUDE?

THANK GOD FOR YOUR BLESSINGS

A prayer for stressed employees

Grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change,

And the courage to change the things I cannot accept;

The wisdom to hide bodies of those that I had to kill today,

Because they got on my nerves.

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Help me to be careful of the toes I step on today,

As they may be connected to the feet I have to kiss tomorrow.

Help me to give 100% at work

12% on Monday	20% on Thursday
23% on Tuesday	and 5% on Friday
40% on Wednesday

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Help me to remember when I am having a bad day at work and people are trying to wind me up,

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile

And only 4 to extend my arm and smack someone in the mouth.

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Prayer for Drivers

Dear Lord,

Please receive the sole of that abandoned shoe, which has just been run over. Amen

ESL/EFL EXERCISES

Index of joke exercises

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With gratitude to:
- All websites which provide lyrics: azlyrics.com lyrics.com leoslyrics.com lyricscafe.com
- Easyspace Limited, Scotland, UK for technical support
- Easyspace Limited, registered in England (03405586), Thailand & Taiwan for keeping porn off this website & from obsolete pages from March 2007
- The Mafia International for helping me to regain my dotcom website for removing porn from this website up to February 2007
- The Mafia International for helping me to revamp & repair this website after it was attacked & vandalised
- Microsoft for helping me to repair this website in order to ensure that porn sites do not link to any of its pages in future