Musical English Lessons International, England

Established since 1993

This free website has been created especially for you by Bibi Baxter (International Author, Teacher & ESL/EFL Materials Specialist)  <>()<> This website contains 'something' for everyone <>()<> Established since 1993, Musical English Lessons International are the only world-wide suppliers of special ESL/EFL study ideas by Bibi Baxter (formerly Bibi Boarder)

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Originals by Bibi
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Classical Literature

Memory Aids & ESL Practice for:

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For Budding Authors & Poets

ESL/EFL/English Practice for Songs

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Create your own forums to discuss subjects on this website and to practise your English

Functional English
ESL/EFL Grammar
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Jokes

for fun ESL/EFL practice

Language Practice

Overview of ESL/EFL/special needs pedagogic ideas on this website

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for different occasions & to avoid offending your listener

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  • Create your own worksheets

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Poetry
  • ESL practice

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Publishing Opportunities

A forum for budding authors & poets to add their work

 

EFL/ESL PRACTICE USING ENGLISH JOKES

PROPOSED EU SPELLING CHANGES

Instructions:  Read the following joke and correct the spellings.  Check your changes with the corrected version.

Note:  The English Language is not a phonetic language and the majority of students often have to struggle to pronounce and/or write it.  Some spellings are notorious for being misleading when it comes to pronunciation (e.g. cough, tough, borough, through, though, etc.)  American spellings are simpler, but decidedly less quaint as a result, e.g. [UK] doughnut, gaol  [US] donut, jail, etc.  At the bottom of this page, there is a link to more UK v US spelling differences.

European Commission has just announced an agreement  whereby English will be the official language of  the European Union rather than German, which was  the other possibility.
 
 As part of the negotiations, the British Government  conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in  plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
 
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this  will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
 
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
 
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
 
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
 
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always  ben a deterent to akurate speling.
 
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
 
By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
 
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.
 
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
 
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
 
If zis mad you smil, pleas pas it on to oza pepl

THE ANSWER KEY

PROPOSED EU SPELLING CHANGES

(The correct spellings)

European Commission has just announced an agreement  whereby English will be the official language of  the European Union rather than German, which was  the other possibility.
 
As part of the negotiations, the British Government  conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
 
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Certainly, this  will make the civil servants jump with joy.
 
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should clear up confusion, and keyboards can have one less letter.
 
There will be growing public enthusiasm in the second year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like photograph 20% shorter.
 
In the 3rd year, public acceptance of the new spelling can be expected to reach the stage where more complicated changes are possible.
 
Governments will encourage the removal of double letters which have always  been a deterrent to accurate spelling.
 
 Also, all will agree that the horrible mess of the silent "e" in the language is disgraceful and it should go away.
 
 By the 4th year people will be receptive to steps such as replacing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
 
 During the fifth year, the unnecessary "o" can be dropped from words containing "ou" and after this fifth year, we will have a really sensible written style.
 
There wil be no more trouble or difficulties and everyone will find it easy to understand each other. The dream of a united Europe will finally come true.
 
And after the fifth year, we will all be speaking German like they wanted in the first place.
 
 If this made you smile, please pass it on to other people

The above text was received as a joke email.  Many thanks to the unknown person who first wrote it.

 
BROKEN LINKS
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UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Spellings

This website contains mostly British-English spellings. Most American software does not recognise/recognize all British-English spellings

Sport

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Using commercial videos to teach

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Vocabulary

A varied range of lists & practice

Worksheets (ESL/EFL) for Pop Songs

A wide range of ESL/EFL exercises for commercial songs.  Many are ideal for use with students with learning difficulties

Writing
  • CV examples

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Young Children

  • nursery rhymes

  • bedtime story

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COPYRIGHT INFORMATION

It is acknowledged that all maps, flags, poetry, lyrics, trademarks, trade names, used or referred to on this website are the property of their respective owners.  If you can supply relevant copyright information, please send it (together with your name & address)  to:  musicalenglishlessons@hotmail.com, or to: Copyright Details, Musical English Lessons International, Thimble Cottage, 99 High Street, Garlinge, Margate, Kent CT9 5LX 

<>()<>
Musical English Lessons International grants teachers & students  permission to copy and use (but not sell) any of the ideas & information featured on this website.  Please include a reference to the author & website as follows: 
Pedagogic Copyright 1994-2007 Bibi Baxter of www.musicalenglishlessons.com 

WITH THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS & PROVIDERS

  • showmetickets for tickets to sporting events, shows & concerts

PROVIDERS

bravenet  phpbb3.net  streamlinenet  linkwalker  network solutions easyspace

  •  With gratitude to:

    • All websites which provide lyrics: azlyrics.com lyrics.com leoslyrics.com lyricscafe.com

    • Easyspace Limited, Scotland, UK for technical support

    • Easyspace Limited, registered in England (03405586), Thailand & Taiwan for keeping porn off this website & from obsolete pages from March 2007

    • The Mafia International for helping me to regain my dotcom website for removing porn from this website up to February 2007

    • The Mafia International for helping me to  revamp & repair this website after it was attacked & vandalised

    • Microsoft for helping me to repair this website in order to ensure that porn sites do not link to any of its pages in future