ESL/EFL Proposed EU Spelling Changes

EFL/ESL PRACTICE USING ENGLISH JOKES

PROPOSED EU SPELLING CHANGES

Instructions: Read the following joke and correct the spellings. Check your changes with the corrected version.

Note: The English Language is not a phonetic language and the majority of students often have to struggle to pronounce and/or write it. Some spellings are notorious for being misleading when it comes to pronunciation (e.g. cough, tough, borough, through, though, etc.) American spellings are simpler, but decidedly less quaint as a result, e.g. [UK] doughnut, gaol [US] donut, jail, etc. At the bottom of this page, there is a link to more UK v US spelling differences.

European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas it on to oza pepl

THE ANSWER KEY

PROPOSED EU SPELLING CHANGES

(The correct spellings)

European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Certainly, this will make the civil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should clear up confusion, and keyboards can have one less letter.

There will be growing public enthusiasm in the second year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like photograph 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, public acceptance of the new spelling can be expected to reach the stage where more complicated changes are possible.

Governments will encourage the removal of double letters which have always been a deterrent to accurate spelling.

Also, all will agree that the horrible mess of the silent "e" in the language is disgraceful and it should go away.

By the 4th year people will be receptive to steps such as replacing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During the fifth year, the unnecessary "o" can be dropped from words containing "ou" and after this fifth year, we will have a really sensible written style.

There wil be no more trouble or difficulties and everyone will find it easy to understand each other. The dream of a united Europe will finally come true.

And after the fifth year, we will all be speaking German like they wanted in the first place.

If this made you smile, please pass it on to other people

The above text was received as a joke email. Many thanks to the unknown person who first wrote it.