Musical English Lessons International, England

Established since 1993

This free website has been created especially for you by Bibi Baxter (International Author, Teacher & ESL/EFL Materials Specialist)  <>()<> This website contains 'something' for everyone <>()<> Established since 1993, Musical English Lessons International are the only world-wide suppliers of special ESL/EFL study ideas by Bibi Baxter (formerly Bibi Boarder)

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Originals by Bibi
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Memory Aids & ESL Practice for:

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For Budding Authors & Poets

ESL/EFL/English Practice for Songs

Feedback Forums

Create your own forums to discuss subjects on this website and to practise your English

Functional English
ESL/EFL Grammar
  • rules

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Jokes

for fun ESL/EFL practice

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Overview of ESL/EFL/special needs pedagogic ideas on this website

Language Tailoring

for different occasions & to avoid offending your listener

Medical

Pedagogic Suggestions

  • Create your own worksheets

  • Additional instructions

Poetry
  • ESL practice

  • Classical

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Publishing Opportunities

A forum for budding authors & poets to add their work

 

JOKES OF COMPARISON

PRISON v WORK

Instructions:  Compare the following pairs of statements and place them under the most suitable heading

  • you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

  • you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.

  •  you get three meals a day.

  •  you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.

  •  you get time off for good behavior.

  •  you get more work for good behavior.

  •  you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

  •  the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.

  • you can watch TV and play games.

  • you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

  • you get your own toilet.

  • you have to share a toilet with some idiot who pees on the seat.

  • you can't even speak to your family.

  • they allow your family and friends to visit.

  • you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

  • all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.

  • you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.

  • you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

  • they are called managers.

  • you must deal with sadistic wardens.

AT WORK

IN PRISON

  1. ...............................................

  2. ...............................................

  3. ...............................................

  4. ...............................................

  5. ...............................................

  6. ...............................................

  7. ...............................................

  8. ...............................................

  9. ...............................................

  10. ...............................................

  1. ...............................................

  2. ...............................................

  3. ...............................................

  4. ...............................................

  5. ...............................................

  6. ...............................................

  7. ...............................................

  8. ...............................................

  9. ...............................................

  10. ...............................................

THE ANSWER KEY

IN PRISON

AT WORK

  1. you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
  2. you get three meals a day.
  3. you get time off for good behavior.
  4. the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
  5. you can watch TV and play games.
  6. you get your own toilet.
  7. they allow your family and friends to visit.
  8. all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
  9. you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
  10. you must deal with sadistic wardens. 
  1. you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.
  2. you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.
  3. you get more work for good behavior.
  4. you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.
  5. you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
  6. you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.
  7. you can't even speak to your family.
  8. you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
  9. you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.
  10. they are called managers.
 

Index of more  joke exercises

The above text was received as a joke email.  Many thanks to the unknown person who first wrote it.

 
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UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Spellings

This website contains mostly British-English spellings. Most American software does not recognise/recognize all British-English spellings

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Worksheets (ESL/EFL) for Pop Songs

A wide range of ESL/EFL exercises for commercial songs.  Many are ideal for use with students with learning difficulties

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COPYRIGHT INFORMATION

It is acknowledged that all maps, flags, poetry, lyrics, trademarks, trade names, used or referred to on this website are the property of their respective owners.  If you can supply relevant copyright information, please send it (together with your name & address)  to:  musicalenglishlessons@hotmail.com, or to: Copyright Details, Musical English Lessons International, Thimble Cottage, 99 High Street, Garlinge, Margate, Kent CT9 5LX 

<>()<>
Musical English Lessons International grants teachers & students  permission to copy and use (but not sell) any of the ideas & information featured on this website.  Please include a reference to the author & website as follows: 
© Pedagogic Copyright 1994-2007 Bibi Baxter of www.musicalenglishlessons.com 

WITH THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS & PROVIDERS

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  •  With gratitude to:

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    • Easyspace Limited, Scotland, UK for technical support

    • Easyspace Limited, registered in England (03405586), Thailand & Taiwan for keeping porn off this website & from obsolete pages from March 2007

    • The Mafia International for helping me to regain my dotcom website for removing porn from this website up to February 2007

    • The Mafia International for helping me to  revamp & repair this website after it was attacked & vandalised

    • Microsoft for helping me to repair this website in order to ensure that porn sites do not link to any of its pages in future