Musical English Lessons International, England

Established since 1993

This free website has been created especially for you by Bibi Baxter (International Author, Teacher & ESL/EFL Materials Specialist)  <>()<> This website contains 'something' for everyone <>()<> Established since 1993, Musical English Lessons International are the only world-wide suppliers of special ESL/EFL study ideas by Bibi Baxter (formerly Bibi Boarder)

French <>  Italian <> Portuguese <> Spanish  <> German <> Chinese <> Japanese <> Korean <> Arabic <> Turkish  <> Polish <> Macedonian

WHAT'S NEW?

(Click on the eyes)

SITEMAP

A-P
Originals by Bibi

  • Essays

  • Narratives

  • Photo

  • Published articles

  • Rhyming Verse

Beatles

  • ESL ideas

  • Quiz

  • Albums
The Holy Bible

  • Prayers

  • Vocabulary

  • Salvation or Hell?

  • Life Before & After Death

  • Humorous poems

Christmas

  • Carols

  • Fun Songs

  • Poem

  • Recipes

  • Song by Darkness

  • Traditions
Classical Literature

Memory Aids & ESL Practice for:

  • Dickens 

  • D.H.Lawrence

  • Shakespeare

  • etc.
Contributors

  • Fiction

  • Non-fiction

  • Poetry

  • Prayers

For Budding Authors & Poets

ESL/EFL/English Practice for Songs

Feedback Forums

Create your own forums to discuss subjects on this website and to practise your English

Functional English
ESL/EFL Grammar

  • rules

  • practice

Jokes

for fun ESL/EFL practice

Language Practice

Overview of ESL/EFL/special needs pedagogic ideas on this website

Language Tailoring

for different occasions & to avoid offending your listener
Medical

Pedagogic Suggestions

  • Create your own worksheets

  • Additional instructions
Poetry

  • ESL practice

  • Classical

  • Humorous 
Publishing Opportunities

A forum for budding authors & poets to add their work
 

JOKE NOTICES + WITTY WARNINGS & SLOGANS

More joke notices will be added to this page from time to time

THE CONTENTS OF THIS PAGE

Please send witty warnings or comical notices for inclusion on this page.

WITTY WARNINGS FOR SHOPLIFTERS & THIEVES

SHOPLIFTERS WILL BE HUNG, DRAWN & QUARTERED 

WE DO NOT PROSECUTE SHOPLIFTERS.   WE BEAT THE S**T OUT OF THEM

SHOPLIFTERS WILL BE ROASTED & EATEN ALIVE

ESL/EFL VOCABULARY NOTE

  • To be hung, drawn & quartered was a horrific punishment meted out about the time of the civil war.  The miscreant was first partially hung, then dragged behind a horse and finally cut into quarters.

SAFETY SLOGANS

Better Late Than Never

Don't Drink & Drive

More Haste Less Speed

CONSERVATION SLOGANS

 

 

WHEN LORRIES RUMBLE,

BUILDINGS CRUMBLE

 

for people who like to joke about old age

ESL/EFL VOCABULARY NOTE

  • Piles = hemorrhoids

  

LIFE BEGINS AT 40 AND SO DOES HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, PILES, ARTHRITIS, SITZ BATHS & BLADDER PROBLEMS

for people who do not like doing housework

DULL PEOPLE 

HAVE

 IMMACULATE HOMES

ESL/EFL VOCABULARY NOTE

  • dull = boring
  • immaculate = spotless

IDIOM:  to be houseproud = everything in the house is spotless & tidy

  

for hopeful slimmers

   

BIG PEOPLE

HAVE

BIG BOTTOMS

for untidy children

WHY BE AWKWARD?   WHEN, WITH A LITTLE BIT OF EFFORT, YOU CAN BE UTTERLY UNBEARABLE
 

ESL/EFL VOCABULARY NOTE

  • utterly = completely

general advice

IT IS BETTER TO SWALLOW YOUR ANGER THAN TO EAT YOUR WORDS WITH EGG ON YOUR FACE

If at first you don't succeed, try, try and try again

for married couples

I AM THE MASTER IN THIS HOUSE AND WHATEVER MY WIFE SAYS SHALL BE DONE

for Christians

TROUBLES ARE THE TOOLS WITH WHICH GOD FASHIONS US FOR BETTER THINGS

ESL/EFL VOCABULARY NOTE

  • to fashion = to shape, create, develop

  • to have attitude = to be anti-social or awkward

 

GRATITUDE ATTITUDE?

THANK GOD FOR YOUR BLESSINGS

 
A prayer for stressed employees
Grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change,

And the courage to change the things I cannot accept;

The wisdom to hide bodies of those that I had to kill today,

 Because they got on my nerves.

<>()<>

Help me to be careful of the toes I step on today,

As they may be connected to the feet I have to kiss tomorrow.

Help me to give 100% at work

12% on Monday 20% on Thursday
23% on Tuesday and 5% on Friday
40% on Wednesday

<>()<>

Help me to remember (when I am having a bad day at work and people are trying to wind me up), 

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile 

And only 4 to extend my arm and smack someone in the mouth.

<>()<>

ESL/EFL MATCHING EXERCISES - JOKES & PUNCHLINES

Also

 
 
BROKEN LINKS
Emergency list of page URLS on this website
SITEMAP

R-Z

Recipes

Sayings

  • philosophies

  • proverbs

  • tonguetwisters
Songs for Group Singing

  • Schoolchildren

  • Toddlers
Speaking Practice

  • Intonation & Stress

  • Pronunciation

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Spellings

This website contains mostly British-English spellings. Most American software does not recognise/recognize all British-English spellings

Sport

  • Table Tennis

  • Vocabulary

Study Tips

  • exams

  • listening

  • reading

  • speaking

  • writing
Technology

  • CCMS

  • RF-MW

  • combined
Traditional Songs

  • Christmas Carols

  • Chants

  • Coach Songs

  • Nursery Rhymes

Travel

Comical & serious travel reports & rhymes

Video

Using commercial videos to teach

Violence

  • ESL/EFL Practice Ideas

  • Reading Practice

  • Subjects for Debate

  • Vocabulary Lists
Vocabulary

A varied range of lists & practice
Worksheets (ESL/EFL) for Pop Songs

A wide range of ESL/EFL exercises for commercial songs.  Many are ideal for use with students with learning difficulties
Writing

  • CV examples

  • monologue

  • letter-writing

  • creative writing

Young Children

  • nursery rhymes

  • bedtime story

  • alphabet practice

 

COPYRIGHT INFORMATION

It is acknowledged that all maps, flags, poetry, lyrics, trademarks, trade names, used or referred to on this website are the property of their respective owners.  If you can supply relevant copyright information, please send it (together with your name & address)  to:  musicalenglishlessons@hotmail.com, or to: Copyright Details, Musical English Lessons International, Thimble Cottage, 99 High Street, Garlinge, Margate, Kent CT9 5LX 

<>()<>
Musical English Lessons International grants teachers & students  permission to copy and use (but not sell) any of the ideas & information featured on this website.  Please include a reference to the author & website as follows: 
© Pedagogic Copyright 1994-2007 Bibi Baxter of www.musicalenglishlessons.com 

WITH THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS & PROVIDERS

  • showmetickets for tickets to sporting events, shows & concerts

PROVIDERS

bravenet  phpbb3.net  streamlinenet  linkwalker  network solutions easyspace

  •  With gratitude to:

    • All websites which provide lyrics: azlyrics.com lyrics.com leoslyrics.com lyricscafe.com

    • Easyspace Limited, Scotland, UK for technical support

    • Easyspace Limited, registered in England (03405586), Thailand & Taiwan for keeping porn off this website & from obsolete pages from March 2007

    • The Mafia International for helping me to regain my dotcom website for removing porn from this website up to February 2007

    • The Mafia International for helping me to  revamp & repair this website after it was attacked & vandalised

    • Microsoft for helping me to repair this website in order to ensure that porn sites do not link to any of its pages in future