WHAT'S NEW?

(Click on the eyes)

SITEMAP

A-P

• Essays

• Narratives

• Photo

• Published articles

• Rhyming Verse

Beatles

• ESL ideas

• Quiz

• Albums

• Prayers

• Vocabulary

• Salvation or Hell?

• Life Before & After Death

• Humorous poems

Christmas

• Carols

• Fun Songs

• Poem

• Recipes

• Song by Darkness

• Traditions

Memory Aids & ESL Practice for:

• Dickens 

• D.H.Lawrence

• Shakespeare

• etc.

• Fiction

• Non-fiction

• Poetry

• Prayers

For Budding Authors & Poets

ESL/EFL/English Practice for Songs

Feedback Forums

Create your own forums to discuss subjects on this website and to practise your English

• rules

• practice

for fun ESL/EFL practice

Overview of ESL/EFL/special needs pedagogic ideas on this website

for different occasions & to avoid offending your listener

• Create your own worksheets

• Additional instructions

• ESL practice

• Classical

• Humorous 

A forum for budding authors & poets to add their work

REVERENTLY HUMOROUS POEMS

By Iris Boarder

(Poems for Christians)

THE CONTENTS OF THIS PAGE

• The Leaky Boat (Practice:  Nouns)
• All That The Book Claims Is True (Practice:  Mixed Tenses)

RELATED PAGES

• Biblical Vocabulary

INSTRUCTIONS

FOR INTERMEDIATE STUDENTS

• Instruct students to complete the gaps as you read the poem slowly

• Divide students into groups for dictionary work, so they can look up the meanings of the adjectives.

• Have a class discussion about the significance of the poem.

FOR ADVANCED STUDENTS

• Instruct students to complete the gaps before you read the complete poem to them.

• Divide students into groups for dictionary work, so they can look up the meanings of the adjectives.

• Have a class discussion about the significance of the poem.

IMPORTANT NOTES:  

• DIFFERENCES BETWEEN TEXT & POETRY:  Capital letters are used at the beginning of each line of poetry, regardless of whether it is the beginning of a sentence.
• DIFFERENCES WHEN REFERRING TO GOD:  Capital letters are used for all pronouns, nouns, adjectives & possessive adjectives relating to God, Jesus & The Holy Spirit
• GRAMMAR RULE:  Capital letters are used for all proper nouns (names of people, places)

THE LEAKY BOAT

THE MISSING NOUNS

boat / calm / Christian / crew / day / Father / fire / leak / love / mortal / paint /  peak / pilot / Power / renovations / repairs / shipyard / Spirit / storm / weakness / years

The Answer Key

When a ...................... first leaves the ......................

Bright and shiny, spanking new.

All she lacks is a first class ......................

And enthusiastic ......................

<>()<>

When we first become a ......................

Bright and shiny, spanking new.

We are guided by our ......................

Through ...................... and .......................  He'll see us through.

<>()<>

But a brand new ...................... won't last forever;

As ...................... go by, it starts to leak.

...................... are made and ......................,

Though all can see it's past its .......................

<>()<>

I once was like a brand new ......................,

Fresh and new and full of ......................,

But now you see I'm getting older.

I need fresh ...................... and I'm prone to tire.

<>()<>

Although Your ...................... lives within me,

I'm like the ...................... that's sprung a .......................

I waste Thy precious Holy ......................;

I fail to listen when you speak.

<>()<>

Forgive the ...................... of this ......................

Whose ...................... for You grows more each .......................

Fill me with Your Holy ......................

And forever with me stay.

The Answer Key

ALL THAT THE BOOK CLAIMS IS TRUE

The Answer Key

I ...................... (look) back now with amusement

To the days before it ......................(come).

The box with buttons and flashing lights

And a tiny micro-chip brain.

<>()<>

I ...................... (not believe) it could do it;

The things in the booklet I ......................(mean).

"What would I do," I ......................(ask) myself,

"With a Video Recording Machine?"

<>()<>

But I ......................(follow) the book of instructions

One step at a time right through;

Now, I ......................(take) back my doubts and ......................(admit) it:

"YES!  All that the book claims ......................(be) true."

<>()<>

I ......................(learn) in a short time to trust it,

For hours, I ......................(leave) it and know

That when I ......................(come) home and ......................(rewind) it,

I can sit back and watch a good show.

<>()<>

For a far longer time, I ......................(know) Jesus;

His book of instructions I ......................(read)

And, there-in, it ......................(tell) me quite simply

That God ......................(supply) every need.

<>()<>

I ......................(believe) in the words that ......................(write);

My life, I ......................(place) in his hands

And yet I continually ......................(worry) when

I should have more faith in his plans.

<>()<>

It ......................(happen) again for the umpteenth time;

I ......................(work) myself up in a state,

But looking back over past events

(It)  ...................... (like) watching a re-run on tape.

<>()<>

When I  ......................(think) there  ......................(be) a problem,

'Cos I  ......................(be) too blind to see,

He  ......................(chide) me gently and saying:

" ......................(have) faith my child in Me".

<>()<>

When I  ......................(grind) my teeth with frustration,

As plan after plan  ......................(fall) through,

All things  ...................... (work) together for good.

YES!  ALL THAT THE BOOK  ......................(CLAIM)  ......................(BE) TRUE!

The Answer Key

THE LEAKY BOAT

(the answer key)

When a boat first leaves the shipyard

Bright and shiny, spanking new.

All she lacks is a first class pilot

And enthusiastic crew

<>()<>

When we first become a Christian

Bright and shiny, spanking new.

We are guided by our Father

Through calm and storm.  He'll see us through.

<>()<>

But a brand new boat won't last forever;

As years go by, it starts to leak.

Repairs are made and renovations,

Though all can see it's past its peak.

<>()<>

I once was like a brand new boat,

Fresh and new and full of fire,

But now you see I'm getting older.

I need fresh paint and I'm prone to tire.

<>()<>

Although Your Spirit lives within me,

I'm like the boat that's sprung a leak.

I waste Thy precious Holy Power;

I fail to listen when you speak.

<>()<>

Forgive the weakness of this mortal

Whose love for You grows more each day.

Fill me with Your Holy Spirit

And forever with me stay.

ALL THAT THE BOOK CLAIMS IS TRUE

(the answer key)

I look back now with amusement

To the days before it came.

The box with buttons and flashing lights

And a tiny micro-chip brain.

<>()<>

I didn't believe it could do it;

The things in the booklet I mean.

"What would I do," I asked myself,

"With a Video Recording Machine?"

<>()<>

But I followed the book of instructions

One step at a time right through;

Now, I take back my doubts and admit it:

"YES!  All that the book claims is true."

<>()<>

I've learnt in a short time to trust it,

For hours, I'll leave it and know

That when I come home and rewind it,

I can sit back and watch a good show.

<>()<>

For a far longer time, I've known Jesus;

His book of instructions I've read

And, there-in, it tells me quite simply

That God supplies every need.

<>()<>

I believe in the words that are written;

My life, I have placed in his hands

And yet I continually worry when

I should have more faith in his plans.

<>()<>

It happened again for the umpteenth time;

I'd worked myself up in a state,

But looking back over past events

Was like watching a re-run on tape.

<>()<>

When I thought there'd been a problem,

'Cos I was too blind to see,

He was chiding me gently and saying:

"Have faith my child in Me".

<>()<>

When I ground my teeth with frustration,

As plan after plan fell through,

All things were working together for good.

YES!  ALL THAT THE BOOK CLAIMS IS TRUE!