Musical English Lessons International, England

Established since 1993

This free website has been created especially for you by Bibi Baxter (International Author, Teacher & ESL/EFL Materials Specialist)  <>()<> This website contains 'something' for everyone <>()<> Established since 1993, Musical English Lessons International are the only world-wide suppliers of special ESL/EFL study ideas by Bibi Baxter (formerly Bibi Boarder)

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© Bibi Baxter, England 2007

Original Rhyming Verse by Bibi Baxter (formerly Bibi Boarder)

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• Fine Words Butter No Parsnips (Please scroll to next box)

History

FINE WORDS BUTTER NO PARSNIPS

The following poem was written in 1994, after I was commissioned to write my first review of CALL software for a prestigious newspaper whose target group was Teachers of English worldwide.

It was quite a challenge, as I had very little computer knowledge and I had never heard of CD ROM.   In fact, few people had computing skills in those days.

They sent me a large box, containing large numbers of  floppy disks, books plus a sound card, together with earphones and mic combined.  I did not have a pc, as I was using a Commodore Amiga for word-processing at that time.  I therefore hired a computer, but was unable to get the package to work.

My husband asked one of his friends (a computer wiz) to help, to no avail.  I contacted The American Language Company and they said they had updated to CD ROM and would send me a copy, which they did.

The computer did not like the ALA soundcard and kept crashing, but I was able to work with enough of the package to assess it quite thoroughly.

When I had completed the review, I was very excited and proud of my efforts.  I phoned to inform my contact at the newspaper and he said:  You will need to reduce it by half.  My heart sank, but I valiantly worked on the piece, paring and trimming until all my 'writing style and embellishments' had been removed and only the facts remained.  I began to realise how valuable my lessons on précis had been at school.

When ready, I phoned again and he asked me to fax it through to him, but warned me that he would have to trim it still further.  I wondered how as I had really reduced it to its bare bones.

When eventually it was published, no further cuts had been made because he confirmed could find nowhere to do so.  A copy of the review is on this website.

I wrote the rhyming verse to request more work, but did not receive any, as it was just a one-off which they had not been able to review themselves.

 
Fine Words Butter No Parsnips!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My computer keys were quaking, anticipating the worst;
I was so riddled with nerves, I was fit to burst!
Oh, horror of horrors!  I was downcast and glum.
My gast had been flabbered - my inspiration numb!
 
What fate was in store for my first review?
Hacked beyond recognition, like an old dog's chew?
Assigned to the dustbin with relics from the past?
Or just laying unnoticed, like a discarded worm-cast?
 
To make matters worse, ALA faxed through,
Informing me politely of CALL policies new.
I held my breath, 'til I went blue in the face,
But my fears were groundless!  It had pride of place!
 
Though nail-biting stuff, I enjoyed every minute
And would love to do more if you can spin it!
My thanks to The EFL Gazette;  you did me proud!
Which means I'll be singing your praises loud!
 
Abbreviations

• ALA  = American Language Academy
• CALL = Computer Assisted Language Learning
• EFL = English as a foreign language. (The EFL Gazette is now The EL Gazette)

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